To fill or not to fill, that is the question. Unfortunately, I got my answer the hard way. One day, someone commented on my lips needing to be just a bit more plump. Well, that is all it took for me to speed dial my dermatologist and schedule an emergency appointment! (My first major mistake) I think most women consult with well-known plastic surgeons about this kind of stuff and research everything about the doctor they choose, but oh no, not me! Vanity is not only considered a sin in some religions, but it can also be a self-induced form of punishment! So, I am sitting there and wondering if the doctor will understand that I only want alittle bit of plumping, and I don’t want it to look fake and all duck-like like a lot of women I see everyday.
I thought, well, this is either going to really turn out to be great and look amazing, or it is going to be a MAJOR mistake, so I am taking a 50/50 chance. I never thought to consider that the doctor might have bad eye sight or an inability to understand symmetry. I was too busy thinking about the celeb’s lips I wanted! I thought a little bit about allergic reactions and the time it would take to dissipate from my lips, if the results were not exactly great. Three months tops- I could live with that!
So, as I wait to see the doctor I begin to have second thoughts. I felt really vain sitting there and wanting to change something that really wasn’t all that big of a bother to me, but ever since that comment, I just could not stop thinking of that Nip Tuck episode, where “Kimber” is trying to get her baby into modeling and this major agent says he will rep the baby if Kimber gets the baby’s lips plumped so she doesn’t look like a “villainous vixon” but rather the “bee-stung beauty that books!” I wanted “bee-stung” beauty booking lips too!
The nurse calls my name, and I jump up, heart pounding, and go through the door. It was like walking through the gates of hell, the guilt was beginning to get to me, bad! There is a really nice nurse waiting for me in the room and she asks why I am seeing the doctor today. I said, “Well, I would like to have my bottom lip just a tiny tiny bit bigger, but I am really nervous and don’t want to do it if it is going to look fake!” I then proceed to ask the nurse, “Is the doctor good at lips and should I do this or not- I mean, do people come out of here looking really weird?” She said, “if I were you, I wouldn’t change a thing. You are a beautiful girl and I would hate to see you do something to change yourself, because you do not need it. Honestly, I would just forget it and leave.” This is the second red flag! She was being honest with me, telling me NOT TO DO IT !!! Why did I even ask her opinion if I was just going to ignore it? Vanity vanity vanity- that’s all I can say. The devil made me do it. So, I said, “Hmmm. thank you so much for your honesty, and I will talk to the doctor about it and explore my options.” She walked out and then I never saw that nurse again.
About 30 seconds later, in walks the doctor. He asks me the same question, I give him the same answer. He says, “Well, maybe we could just give you a tiny bit of Restylane. We could do the ‘Rosebud Lip’ or ‘The Paris Lip’ (named after Paris Hilton, of course). I thought, ‘that sounds lovely. A ‘Rosebud Lip’, who wouldn’t want that?!!’ So, I continue with the procedure. He warns me that it is not going to feel good and it will really hurt. I thought, ‘how bad could it possibly be?’ They apply a bit of numbing cream and then he sticks the right side of my bottom lip, a little off-center and I feel some pressure- nothing too bad. Then sticks it a little bit over to the right again barely injects anything and voila- he’s all done. He hands me a mirror and I look and think to myself, ‘it is looking a little off-center, but I guess it will gel out in a little while. I am sure it won’t stay like this.’ It looked pretty good other than that. The nurse hands me a cold pack and says to just keep the pack on my lip all day to prevent swelling and bruising.
Two hours later, my lip is not only looking bee stung, but it is feeling bee stung, but only on the right side. I got so annoyed, I decided to call up the doctor and ask his nurse what the heck was going on! She tells me that it will even out by tomorrow and that I should massage my lip a little. Well, I had been shoving my lip trying to get the stuff to move to the freaking center the past hour with no success. The nurse then warns me, “whatever you do, do not push on your lip.” Oh! So glad to know that NOW!
The next morning I wake up and it is even more evident that my lip is crooked! I am so mad I call them again! I needed to get in ASAP and I was not kidding around. Well, the doctor was not available until Friday- two days away and I would have to be worked-in. I said “FRIDAY!!! I have a crooked lip and I cannot go to work like this, isn’t there any way he can fit me in today or tomorrow morning?” She says nonchalantly, “No. I am sorry. That is the soonest available time.” I lost it! I was not going to have a crooked lip all week and hate myself for the next 72 hours! I never do this because I hate confrontation, but this was one time that I found it necessary to be a little pushy. I responded in a no nonsense manner, “listen to me okay. I am not going around anywhere looking like this. It is the doctor’s mistake and I am not going to wait around. This is an emergency and you will fit me in first thing tomorrow morning or else you will have a big problem on your hands. Now. Tell me, when is your earliest available appointment tomorrow?” To say the least, I was worked-in that morning at 9:00 am, and was his first patient. He walks in and takes a look, and instead of him saying, “I’m sorry, this is no good, we gotta get this fixed,” he says, “So, you want a little bit more on the left side?” I was like, ‘yeah ya think??!!’ I didn’t say that, but I was thinking it for sure. He starts injecting, and injecting, and injecting, and injecting all on the left side of my lip! SIX injections later, my lip is writhing in pain, and totally and completely blown up like a balloon. I said, “Doctor, does this stuff move once it is in the lip?” He said, “No. Not really. Abby I made it a little bit bigger than you said you wanted, but I think you’re going to like it.” He smiles and walks out of the room. I was like, he just doesn’t need to think! He just doesn’t need to even speak to me, I am so mad at him, and the nurse who told me to “massage” my lip, and most of all, myself!
I called my best friend on the way home sobbing. She said it couldn’t be as bad as I thought and to just get some rest. I couldn’t stop looking at my giant lip in the mirror. As the hours progressed, so did the size of my lower left lip. It felt as if I had been stung by 500 bees. I sent my friend a picture, and she responded, “that looks like it hurts.” I thought, it looks like more than that! It looks like someone gave me a fat lip! Which they did, but not exactly the way I had planned.
So, I thought I would share my story with ANYONE thinking of getting any type of filler in their lip. Here are a few tips:
1. Research your doctor and get a referral
2. Listen to your gut and the nurse warning you
3. Learn to love yourself the way you are, because you don’t appreciate the beauty you have until it gets really screwed up by some idiot doctor!
4. Do not go back to the same idiot who messed you up in the first place, go to someone who knows what the heck they are doing to fix it the way it should be fixed.
5. Read this blog and know, there is nothing fake about my story. It is as real as it comes and embarrassing too, but I am doing my penance.
Live and Learn,